THE RACIST IN ME

I always find humor in race. Racial and cultural stereotypes should be embraced, accepted, and laughed about. My own race has plenty to laugh at.

Just ask Carlos Mencia who so brilliantly points out “White people will go on safaris. They will throw blood in the water just to swim with sharks. They will travel to the deepest depths of the ocean to find the most dangerous animals, but they won’t go to Oakland because a “ninja – i.e. insert racist term for black male” might shoot them.” Pure genius.

I was once told that if I can’t laugh about myself then I shouldn’t laugh at others. I couldn’t agree more. In fact, there is so much humor in me and about me that I would make a Comedy Central Roast a mini-series. Personally, I have never seen people as unequal because of their race, but I definitely see that we are obviously different. Lately, one group of people has scared me out of my senses. I think these people are a detriment to our society and impair my vision and probably yours if you’re not color blind.  

Orange people are rapidly growing in numbers. Humans are meant to have a variety of pigmentations…orange however, is not one of them. We must free these heathens of their evil ways and purify the world from “Sunkistitis”. We must stop this before it is too late.

My plan:

1)      Start with males and make sure they know men should not go to tanning booths. If men do insist to still go, tell them it shrinks their “mojo” and turns them into Richard Simmons.

2)      Tell females tanning makes you fat.

Problem solved.

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