HE WHO FARTS IN CHURCH SITS IN OWN PEW…

We all pass by church signs on a regular basis no matter where you live in the U.S., but I’ve always wondered who comes up with the sayings on church signs. Do they always realize what they are publishing on their signs? Or are these authors just like members of the Tea Party who decided to go by the nickname “Tea Baggers” before realizing it had negative sexual connotations?  If you live in the Midwest like I do, then you pass a church sign after every block you drive; actually after every fast food restaurant you pass but then again there are multiple fast food restaurants on every block in Oklahoma than there are shitty songs sang by Taylor Swift, so I will just stick with my every block metaphor. Sometimes the slogans on these church signs baffle me. Here are my top 10:

10.When did the Baptists start following Catholic philosophy?

 9.Does religion = sexual ignorance?

8. Obviously this author didn’t win their 3rd grade spelling bee. In fact, wWhere is the Grammar police when you need them?

7. But it is much more entertaining. And what if I turn on my local evangelist? Dos LifeChurch on the internet count?

6. Really? Why don’t we just call them “colored” too…

5. If you don’t have all the letters, don’t try to minimize it like you’re a teenager texting her best friend.

ANAL does not = AN”NU”AL.

4. Is this Geometry class? That’s what mathematicians call a “GIVEN.” 

3. Poor Jews…Even Christian churches hate them…

2. I’m guessing this author is either female or a Catholic priest…and possibly Hindu if they went to hell and came back reincarnated to write this.

1.I love Cut and Paste…They’re just continuing the tradition set by King James and many others before him.

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