YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN OKLAHOMA IF…

It bothers you not one iota to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.

Sure, we have all benefited from things Oklahomans have invented like the shopping cart, but it seems to me as if Oklahomans don’t always think about every little detail. Naming your airport after a man who died in a plane crash doesn’t necessarily make sense to logical people like me. Another example is the “Yield” sign. An Oklahoman invented this traffic sign, but you would be hard pressed to find an Oklahoman who actually knows what that means; just watch traffic merge onto the highways in Oklahoma and you will get my point. The parking meter was also invented by an Oklahoma citizen…thanks Asshole…now we all have to pay just to park. What’s next? The walking down my street meter?

Oklahomans can at least in some ways be proud of their first Men’s Professional Sports Franchise. Having only been a team in OKC for three years, the success of the team is something to boast about. Evolving from an opening season of 23 wins to back-to-back 50+ win seasons and consecutive playoff appearances is a magical feat. Sports fans don’t need to be reminded that OKC basically stole the team from Seattle. In fact, it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that we stole the Seattle Supersonics and brought them to OKC. We are a bit shady as a state. OKC tried stealing the New Orleans Hornets after Hurricane Katrina. The biggest University in the state of Oklahoma is named after a group of land run cheaters (The University of Oklahoma Sooners). And our state representatives like Sally Kern (who shockingly is a Republican) still publicly state (just last week) on the House floor during debate that she’s seen “a lot of people of color who didn’t study hard because they said the government would take care of them.” It makes me wonder who is doing the thinking around here. I can’t be the only one.  

As a Laker fan, I admittedly am impressed at the Thunder’s success, yet I do have to point out that there are some obvious problems the Oklahoma Thunder apparently didn’t think out in full detail when they brought the franchise to OKC; just like the people who named Oklahoma City’s Airport, Will Rogers International Airport. Here are my top 5 problems with the OKC Thunder:

#5: The Logo & Colors. According to majority owner Clay Bennett, the team’s logo takes several of its elements from other Oklahoma sports teams such as the collegiate Sooners and Coqboys. Say what? With the team colors set as Light Blue, Orange-Red, Navy, Gold, & White how can he make that statement? And then nothing says impressive basketball influenced by Oklahoma sports better than a blue and orange basketball morphed into a soaring isosceles triangle.

#4: The Arena: The Oklahoma City Arena, once known as the Ford Center, is currently unable to find a sponsor for the Arena. Nothing spells success like the inability to find a sponsor. Originally billed and marketed as a “state-of-the-art” facility, Oklahoma City Arena was actually constructed to minimum NBA and NHL specifications and without the luxury amenities because of local concerns on expenditures. It’s like sitting in an arena built for prisoners. The location is excellent but the building itself not so much. 

#3: The Name: When the team unveiled the name, I was literally speechless. Of all the possibilities and ties to Oklahoma roots, the OKC owners decide to choose a name that isn’t even tied to Oklahoma alone. Thunder exists everywhere. Sure, OK native Garth Brooks sang about it, but that doesn’t mean OK is the only place that has Thunder. Tornadoes are more relative to OK than Thunder is. I am not suggesting we should have chosen Tornadoes, but Thunder? Really?

#2: The Mascot: If you have seen the mascot then I don’t need to give much of an explanation here. “Rumble the Bison” was introduced in February of 2009 and one look at him says Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf. The attempt to connect the mascot’s name with the team’s name (Rumble & Thunder) is rather weak and then to say the mascot is a bison is an illusion to the human eye. Bison were long eradicated from Oklahoma and to conjure up a name rooted in mass killings of bison is almost disgraceful.

#1: Car Flags: Towards the end of the 2010-11 Season I started noticing a growing trend in Oklahoma. Every other car on the freeway had an OKC Thunder car flag on it. Yes, this shows the great support of the team by Oklahoma citizens, but are car flags really the best way of showing this? Nothing says classy car accessories like car flags…not 20” rims…not tinted windows…car flags…

Well done Oklahoma…In the words of Ron Burgundy, “You stay classy (Oklahoma)”…

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One Comment on “YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN OKLAHOMA IF…”

  1. Kyle says:

    Hahahahahahahahaha…fucking oklahoma


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